Guide to Helping in a Rough Situation

A sweet friend asked me for advice. They know a family who just had a baby that will be in the hospital for a long time, and she wants to know how to help. I sat down and typed up a novel, then thought that maybe someone else might want to know also! Here's my response:
First off, I am very thrilled that we've had any kind of influence on your family and that you're concerned about them and wanting to help them, it means a lot and shows what great people you are! SO many people say, "wish I could help, but.." and never do anything.
Janell Fluckiger showed up at the hospital one day with Bath and Body Works Eucalyptus Spearamint Lotion, a soothing eye pillow and scented bodyscrub. It was exactly what I needed and to this day is my absolute favorite product. It calmed me down, made me feel special, forced me to take 5 minutes for myself and still brings me fond memories of her and her love!
One day after 4 months in the hospital I had a huge craving for cinnamon bears...mentioned it off-hand to someone, and 3 different people from my ward made sure that they got some to me over the next week or so. Again, it was a small thing to them, but meant a LOT to me. Can you ask the grandparents what the Mom and Dad's fav junk food is? For Doug, a 100 Grand bar goes a long way! We all have the cravings, it's worse when we're so stressed and exhausted, it helps make me feel a tiny bit better!
Gift cards for local restraunts would be so thoughtful, it get's really expensive to live in that situation long term...
Someone loaned us the first 3 seasons of LOST once, we watched them over a period of a few days! We were desperate to find something to take our minds off what was happening at the time, and it REALLY helped!
People Magazine, Redbook, and Reader's Digest keep me distracted when I can't seem to be able to concentrate on a book.
Soothing music, like Josh Groban can really calm both Mom and Baby, maybe a compilation CD for them to have? One of my mom's friends made us several CD's, "Soothing Music for Monte," "Happy Music for Monte," we played them constantly and noticed that they actually lowered his blood pressure.
Did you hear the conference talk this April about the angels that were around the children in the hospital? I'll bet they missed it, copy it and highlight that part for them, it meant the world to us.
Also President Hollands talk from last October, it talks about parents of Special Needs Kids and really touched my heart.
Call first, and try to see if they want visitors, then come by with a re-heatable dinner or cupcakes or anything in small portions that they can eat later. Anything homemade is AMAZING after being in the hospital. Go extra heavy on the fruits and vegetables, I start to feel a craving for them quickly.
Good Chapstick and lotion are so hard to find in the hospital, and your hands quickly get chapped and burned from the frequent washing and the chemicals, your lips are SO dry from the recycled air.
Small bottles of great smelling shampoo and conditioner were really nice for me, I was there for 26 days this year, I really appreciated not smelling like a hospital.
Finally, one friend met me at the hospital and kidnapped me to take me to a movie. We didn't talk about the situation at all, just laughed our hearts out at the funny movie, then went for a nice long walk. It was just what I needed at the time.
The siblings have got to be so confused right now, a cute care package for them with tons of stickers, books, markers, toys, and chalk would make them feel special also.
I had friends visit me this time and bring me an awesome room scent thing with twigs and essential oils, everyone commented on how nice the room smelled. They also brought stickynotes so visitors could leave positive notes for us to read later.
Last thing, someone make us a special blanket for Monte's room, we kept it with him, it brightened his room and made us feel happier.
I know that this is a lot of info, I encourage you to talk about it as a family and go with what feels right. It's such a hard situation, I really feel for them, and hope all goes well. I hope it helps a bit!!

Allison and Lance

Ok, my trip in December really was an incredible week, it's taken 'till April to post it all! My family graciously let me fly to Idaho and Utah for a week to spend time with my sisters celebrating their big moments. One of those was to spend a few days with Allison and Lance, the newlyweds. Ok, this really is an incredible couple. I was touched by the affection and respect that they share for each other. They uplift and inspire each other, and help each other grow in a positive and fun way. Allison is an amazing cook and creative decorator, and Lance is a thoughtful, encouraging, computer genius. He prepared an amazing bed for me without even being asked, carried by luggage, and put up with a bevy of crazy Higley's without complaint!
And how many men do you know that would write and sing a farewell song tailored specifically to his 2 sister-in-laws? I did promise that I wouldn't post it on you-tube, but a blog doesn't count, right? Enjoy!!
It was sad to "Leave on a jet-plane" to go home again, but I had a million special memories to bring...
And I showed up to happy, clean, well cared for kids, and what seemed like a new house! It was clean, sparkling new, and filled with brand new things! Doug installed a new dishwasher, 2 new toilets, and a new faucet. What a wonderful husband!!

My Awesome Sis Amy!!

One of my favorite "sister" moments was getting to go attend Amy's graduation from BYU-Idaho. She is an amazing, articulate, attractive, awe-inspiring individual, and I am so proud to be her sister. I so enjoyed spending time with her, whether it was talking, packing, trudging through the snow (and in heels!), crying, and laughing. It was very special to see her not only receive her diploma (in a shorter amount of time than any of her 6 brothers or sisters) (Wait, I might need to wait on verification on that!), but to see her handle some of life's tough challenges and decisions all of the same time. She's a remarkable young lady, and now proud to report that she's living in Salt Lake, working at her dream job as an editor for the LDS Church. Pretty classy!
It was a perfect weekend, and I can't wait for the next girl's weekend!